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Saturday, January 10, 2004
by Todd Brendan Fahey
January 10, 2004
It had to happen.
A solid year's teaching in South Korea and a man misses marijuana in his life. This is a human inevitable.
So, pre-New Year, what is the first thing to do? (out the secure doors of Bangkok International Airport) (What would YOU do?)
The 4-day NIGHTMARE
& while on Khao San Road, feasting on large Tiger prawns at 10baht/ea. (a dozen monster shrimp, which you can pick out from the chipped ice vats, and are then barbequed in front of you, for $US 3.25; salad and citrus fruit come with ze shrimp) 2 litres of beer for $2.50.
AND YOU'RE IN BANGKOK, THAILAND (which means yr room will cost you about $5/nightly).
Things go like in slow-motion in Bangkok. Expect to need to be reminded of things many times before they go accomplished. Laundry piles up; e-mail goes unaccounted for; you may even miss an entire day (if the morphine is good; a little story: Prior to the puritanical purge of Prime Minister Thaksin, things were good here. I could cop Ambien sleeping pills; any derivative of codeine; Valium, Xanax, whatever. This time around, the pharmacist--a middle-aged women--nodded at me, sympathetically, and said, "I know. The best drugs are now illegal.).
I was saddened to the root.
Then she brightened: "But we have morphine!"
Eeeegg
Sublingual (under-the-tongue) administrations of pure morphine. LEGAL.
I mean, you do things here in Thailand--you have not entered a paralytic or super-static or chronic vegetative state--but you are not going to get a lot of things done in a hurry...not even with a tailwind.
My first four nights in Bangkok consisted of getting from the airport to Khao San Road, and then waiting out the afternoon 'til the reggae bars opened with the 500baht baggies. Then the hooker. After that, I'm on autopilot...
The Hooker
It's a sad, familiar tale: Cash-strapped restaurant waitress seeks extra change after her shift ends. Pretty, whip-smart (street-wise), she immediately asks (looking at the Western sucker) if one of her friends can come to dinner "with us."
"Sure," he says, clenching his teeth. The bite will come quickly with this one.
Half-drunk already, from the restaurant night-shift, she makes it clear that sex won't be forthcoming on the first night. Then she slips and admits she's got a purse full of condoms. The ship is listing already...
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